My Hopeful Character

[ra]

Application:
Character Name: Serenity
Pronunciation: Just try it and you will get it.
FP ID#: 55430
Physical Description: Lovely young lady. Other than that in the shadows and rarely seen by anyone.
Occupation: Wouldn't you like to know.
Ship: Freelance. Will just "pop" up.
Roleplay Sample: Serenity wanders into (insert characters name here) line of sight. " Oh ______. Don't you remember that promise you made that you would never _______(insert promise here) again. Well I caught you at it. Off to the gallows you go." Serenity snaps her fingers and bindings appear on your wrists. She grabs onto your arm and drags you from sight as you kick and scream.

Don't worry Iddy. This would be with your permission only as the character is just to shake things up.


There try that.

[Iddy]

I'm not sure you have the whole concept down yet :3 .......... don't use stars for actions and put your words in quotation marks.... remember what you've learned from english.........

Example revision:
Serenity wanders into Akima's line of sight. "Oh Akima. Don't you remember that promise you made that you would never Pillage again. Well I've caught you at it. Off to the gallows you go."

Serenity Takes a threatening step foward, roughly binding Akima's wrists. She smiles wryly as the pigmint in the wench's hands change. Sarcastically she breaths, "Oh my! sorry, love, looks as if it's a little tight."

Pausing momentarily a chuckle escapes Serenity, "You shouldn't worry too much. You won't have to feel it much longer anyway... Come along dearie, dawn is fast approaching."

Her goons snap into place, dragging the struggling Akima. My, how she enjoyed this...






it's not very good but you should get the point.......
It doesn't have to be near as long as mine..... I'll talk to you about god-modding later..... but for now.... Revise your piece and I'll accept you

[ra]

There we go I redid it.